EVEN IF!

August 29, 2020

EVEN IF!

I started this blog in March...never finished it because I didn't have any words to finish it with, but I think I'll post it anyway... because "even if" my words aren't perfect, they're heartfelt.

,,,Not sure where to start... I haven't shared a blog post in months and only two last year I believe...2019 was a huge challenge physically for me. No other excuse. 😑

Now here we are in March of 2020...and I'm not sure I have many words today other than our world is suffering, our country is suffering, our state is suffering...a pandemic...it's name is COVID19. I do not like this thing! It has killed many people and without a miracle from God will kill many more.

I happened to hear a song on youtube today called "Even If" by the group Mercy Me. The guy shared before he sang about how hard life is sometimes...even to the point of saying that sometimes "life sucks". He has a child who has a chronic illness so some days are really difficult for his family. Good days, bad days, denial days...it's always there waiting on you...

As the song says, it easy to sing when there's nothing to bring me down. I've found that to be true myself. When I was diagnosed with this rare type of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, my tune changed a little...things weren't so rosy...you get knocked down, turn flips that you didn't initiate! Then you get your grounding back, so to speak, and you remember "WHOSE" you are if you are a Christ follower.

Hope comes when you read the promises in the Word and yet you always know in the back of your mind there's a "what if"statement floating around... What if you don't...heal ME?

The songs says...they say it only takes a little faith to move a mountain...well good thing is all I have right now...

In the past year I've seen two young women change their address to Heaven. One was my Pastors' daughter who was taken at 27. The family and our church prayed for 4 years believing for her healing. My pastor said...it wasn't lack of faith...the reason Whitney passed! True!

Then the songs says...But God, when you choose to leave the mountains unmovable, oh give me strength to be able to sing it is well with my soul.

The other lady was around 40...had small children...fought that c word hard! She was tough as nails in her belief as was my Pastors' daughter. Strong believers... Why? We asked ,,,,why?

Even though God doesn't answer every question we ask of Him, he's always there...listening. I think a lot of time, we aren't listening for him...because it's all about us.

Then on April 17, my best friend and mentor went to be with the Lord. Not prepared, not expecting THIS, not now...younger than me...WHAT??? WHY??? It is now August and I still can hardly believe it...how can Chris be gone from this earth??? Grief doesn't follow rules or guidelines. You can't run from it! You can't hide from it! It will make you deal with it... No one ever said life would be easy, but we live as if someone told us it would be or that loss should pass us by.

So here we are, continuing to live with COVID19 and not looking as if it is going anywhere anytime soon. Life is forever changed. Everyone trying to find their way through this season...sickness, loss on all kinds of levels. Most are wearing masks to protect others and new studies show that mask even helps us, but there are those who don't believe anything anybody says...it's all a conspiracy...may God help us get through this mess that we can't make sense of. Our help comes from you God.

Then the song says...I know the sorrow and I know the hurt would all go away if you just say the word, BUT EVEN IF YOU DON'T, my hope is you alone.

He's been faithful, he's been true...all of my life...and I will continue to believe him and put my trust in him and him alone because I know he is GOOD!!! He has proven it time and time again...

Take a listen to the story before the song and then don't miss the song itself